Over the last several years, say about 10, I've spent a lot of time online. I've spent time in chat rooms and had some fun. When I got married, a lot of that petered out, as I concentrated on my relationship with the spousal unit. We are monogamous, neither of us believes you can be in a relationship and still fuck around. At least it wouldn't work for either of us. If you can make it work, more power to you.
However, over that span of years that I mentioned I had met many people that I think I could have been very good friends with in real life. I met (and slept) with some of them and we got along fantastically.
When I got married and started to pull away from my online, sex-site addicted life, many of these acquaintances pulled away or moved on. But not these four guys, at least at first.
I've been married for some time now and even these guys have gone the way of the dodo, well I'm still in contact with one.
So I'm reaching out via this space, though I doubt any of them read (or even know about it) but what the heck.
TH: You were such a good friend, and I thought we would be friends for a long, long time. I know that we had hoped to eventually connect in-person. When you were down I was the one you reached out to. When you were in crisis mode, the same. As you were the person I reach out to when I was in similar situations. When I thought the SU was stepping out on me, I immediately spoke to you for re-assurance, while I waited for the SU to come home. And then suddenly, one day you were just gone. Your profiles have all disappeared, my emails go unasnwered, you never appear in any of im tools we frequented. I would love to know that you are alright and that you are healthy. I recently came across your boyfriends profile online, and he now lists as newly single. So I guess that means you guys are done. Maybe I should email him, (would that be weird?) to find out what the heck happened to you.
KW: We got along famously, perving together all the porn sites, we shared a common taste in men. Yes you lived half the country away and I did invite you to my wedding. You didn't come though you had assured me you would. The SU liked you and we enjoyed chatting with you and catching up but you too just disappeared one day. I do see you online from time to time but you no longer respond to me.
JW: We should have been soul mates but we live in different countries, you're married with kids and you can't give them up for me. Nor would I ask you to. But when we met it was fireworks. The day we spent at Jonespond was pure bliss for me. I could have walked on clouds. But then I met someone local and fell in-love. I'm happy and monogamous, it's the choice I've made. I just will say that I miss my friend and I hope that you are happy. Because I'm committed to the SU, I can no longer promise the retirement linai in either Florida or Hawaii, sorry my dear one.
HB: You are perhaps the only one that knew about this blog, though neither of us have been regular posters for a while. We still are in touch and we say hey from time to time. I remember fondly the times we spent together when we could lounge around naked together. Let me know when you are driving through Toronto again, maybe we can have lunch, if you schedule allows.
To my four friends, I miss you guys and wish you were still in my life but life does move on and it seems that we all have done so. Perhaps we'll meet again some day. Perhaps not.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
to blog or not to blog?
I don’t know why I want to try to keep this blog. My life is not that interesting. I don’t have a lot of friends. I stay pretty much to myself, spending time with my spousal unit (The SU) and family. When I’m not working that is.
I don’t drink heavily, if I have one or two drinks in a month, I’ve had a lot. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I’ve done both in the past but they just weren’t for me. Pot just made me sleepy – no relaxed mellow glow, no appetite spike for crappy snacky food, just sleep. Probably worked better than ambisol (or what ever that sleeping pill is called).
I’m boring.
There I’ve said.
Hi, my name is Don and I’m boring.
I am a gay man. I grew up not fitting into the straight world. I didn’t play sports, couldn’t relate to the hard partying drinking guys that I was exposed to. I always felt like an outsider. And I blamed it on being a closeted gay man. How could I fit in? I’m not like them. Their world has nothing for me.
I longed to “out” to be free to hang out in gay clubs, talk openly with my friends and family about my lovers and about who is cute. Paul Michael Glaser so knocked the socks off of David Soul. Everyone was swooning over him but Paul had it all. In the opening scenes flips of Starsky and Hutch when he climbed out of the pool all wet gave me teen wood. But could I discuss this with my friends that were mooning over the latest Farrah poster?
Nope.
I had a lover. We’d been sexual partners (never more than that – so fuck buddies I guess?) since I was 10 and he was 11. We were both too young by several years to know what we should be doing but we both knew it was what we wanted. We continued to see each other until I was 39 and he was 40. We never really ended, we just petered out. Our sessions together grew fewer and fewer and finally one day we just decided (on the phone) not to see each other anymore.
That’s it.
He was terrified to come out. He had slept with women in his teens and had two kids with his high school girlfriend. And he was worried he’d not be able to see them, if he came out. It made sense to me at the time. While we were still teenagers one of my friends, that knew about him and I as he had joined us for a few sessions, told his brother that T and I were lovers. His brother was best friends with my brother and dutifully told my brother. As a result T felt that if I came out, he would be outed by default. So I stayed closeted – for him.
Or at least I told myself that is why I stayed closeted. I think that that was part of it for sure, but not all of it. I think I was afraid of losing my family, my friends (not that I had that many).
After ending things with T, I decided to explore the gay life, to go to clubs. To make gay friends and to visit a bath house, to have wild wanton sex with men I’d just met.
Except I didn’t! Not at first, anyway.
Time went by, I had the internet, I had online porn. And memberships to different sites (Badpuppy and bedfellows) that got me through a lot. But I noticed that the tendency of these sites seemed to favour young shaved, clean cut twinky or muscle guys.
Remember above when I mentioned Paul Michael Glaser? That’s the type of guy I wanted to see naked and hard and these sites rarely had that. So I ended my memberships in them. I joined the sex sites such as Bear411, Men4SexNow, Adult Friend Finder (AFF), and its sister sites Alt and Outpersonals and a few others.
Yes I’m naming names.
I finally started having the wanton sex I’d always felt that as a gay man was part of my lifestyle.
You know what I found? I couldn’t perform all that well with people I’d just met. I needed to know them, to have a relationship with them. And most of the people on these sites are not looking for that, they’re looking for a quick fuck, a romp, a one-off and nothing more. On AFF, for instance, fully 95% of the men that contacted me were listed as “straight” and most married. I began to wonder if there was any such thing as straight.
I did meet people. I met some couples and had some great experiences and for a gay man, I find that eating pussy is an amazing turn on. Licking a pussy and sucking a cock that is fucking it, is incredibly hot. And even fucking a woman is a great turn on with or without her man involved.
So am I bi? Who knew? Like so many gay men, I believed that bi was stop on the journey to gay and not a destination. But could I be?
I met some great guys, some assholes and some great fucks, some not so great fucks. I met an English guy into leather and S&M as I thought I’d experiment with it. But he was so skinny, completely nelly and I couldn’t help but laugh. S&M is not for me, as I still can’t really take it seriously. Sorry, if that’s your scene but it’s not mine.
I finally visited a bath house. I hated it. The anonymity of it, the randomness, just stopping a guy in the hall to drop and suck him off (as did the guy I was there with) just icked me out completely. And when he and I finally retired to our room to suck and fuck, I apparently didn’t close or latch the door. As I opened my eyes to find 5 men watching my date suck my cock. I actually lost my erection. My date? Well he attacked those 3 of those 5 men like a starving piranha. I tried to engage in oral with one of them but it wasn’t happening. And I left. Leaving them to play, I dressed and went home. Never saw that guy again and went immediately for an HIV (and others) test.
Yes I know it was an over-reaction.
My second bath house experience was amazingly hot and amazingly disappointing. I met this guy, he was cute, younger than me, furry, an amazing ass. The sex was aggressive, there was biting, there was nibbling. Deep, deep kissing with major tongue action, it was amazing. I couldn’t get deep enough into him. I did something stupid, well he did it but I let him or didn’t stop him anyway. As we were kissing, he lifted himself up and slid down onto my cock – bareback. I hadn’t been bareback in a long, long time and it felt amazing. I didn’t stop him but continued to fuck in for about 2 hours more in multiple positions. He came 3 or 4 times. He had his own room, I had my own room. We were fucking in my room. He left to shower and that was the last I’d seen of him.
Never answered my calls, never returned emails, just vanished. As this was perhaps the best sex I’d ever had, I wanted to repeat it but I guess he was just looking for a one-off or for him it wasn’t that good. I will never know. And yes I did test immediately afterward as well, cleanly thankfully (and continue to be).
Next I met a married guy with an amazing ass. We were the same age, we’d had many of the same life experiences, he was looking for long-term thing with a guy. Wait though, he’s married, you say. Yes he was. And it turns out a bit messed up. The sex was good but we didn’t last. I couldn’t get past the married thing, I wanted him to leave he wouldn’t. I said I’m not doing this with a married guy, no more sneaking around, as I’ve done that and I’m done with it.
So we ended out relationship. A week later I met the spousal unit, who was meant to be a rebound fuck, a one-off. But something clicked. And clicked hard. If I thought the sex with bath-house boy was hot, it had nothing on the SU and I.
What I’ve found, through my long journey, though, is that I don’t’ really fit into the straight community, I don’t really fit into the gay community, at least not with the elements of it that I’ve met. I cannot be promiscuous. I hate to dance, dislike loud music, have no desire to fling myself wildly about a dance floor shirtless. I believe, it turns out, in monogamy. Do not really like to spend my time with drunk people. Still don’t like sports, except for how hot the guys look in their uniforms.
I really enjoy quiet evenings in, a game of cards around a table with my family, snuggling with the SU on the sofa or in bed. I enjoy walking on a beach holding his hand or picnicking with him late into the fall. My favourite picnic remains a very late fall picnic on the rocks at the beach with the wet spray splashing around us in the cold damp air. Feeding each other humus on pita and a sharp piece of cheese or slice of apple or orange, is an ideal moment.
So where do I belong? I belong with him and him with me, wherever we are, wherever we end up. My Arabian prince and I are together and I guess that is really all I need for now.
So why do I want to start this blog again, to get back to my original question? This has been a long and rambling post but I think I need a place to say some things that are on my mind, to have a place for a stream of consciousness vent, to have a place to discuss (even if it is with only myself) some issues that are on my mind. It will also be an exercise to improve my writing. I find that internet speak has severely disabled my written English word usage. And I need to nip that habit in the butt.
If you’ve made it this far, say hey, so I can thank you for reading this long and winding biography of a boring man. And y’all come back agin, y-hear.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
New beginnings
So for the 1 or 2 people that might actually be stopping by, we have some new beginnings.
As you may or may not have known, I've been unemployed since falling victim to the economic downturn in January. That's 6 months for those counting.
It's been hard, and money was beginning to be an issue for us. I'd spoken to my real estate agent and discussed putting the condo up for sale, a couple of times, we'd even drawn the papers up but each time I came close to signing I'd have a good job prospect and decide to put off my decision a few days.
Finally with nothing happening, or rather nothing coming of all the opportunities that I'd delayed for, I decided to list the condo. My agent advised that units in our building would usually take a while to sell. She also recommended a price about 20K less then I wanted to list at.
We decided to list but at my price not the amount she wanted to list for. It just so happened that she had an agents meeting the next morning and decided to tie that into an agents open house. During that, 3 agents brought clients to view the place. That evening we have 4 more viewings, 3 the next night and 3 the following night.
This was now Thursday evening. I would leave the unit while the viewings were happening but I did stay around the building (in the garden or the lobby) so I saw how long they stayed. 3 of the viewers had stayed over half an hour. In fact, one woman and her son waited with her agent to speak with me and ask a few questions about the condo - she was in love with the place.
So I suspected we were getting at least one offer.
Now, while this was going on I had an interview on Monday. They liked me and invited me back for a second interview on Friday. That interview (during which I had to do a small presentation) was good, as well.
I suspected I was in but I had not received an offer at this point so I couldn't be sure.
Friday afternoon I got a call from my agent, she had 2 offers and was expecting 1 or 2 others. We had one more viewing Friday evening from a "serious" buyer whom she thought would make an offer. It didn't happen.
I asked my agent if an offer comes in how long do we have to respond and is there anyway to delay until Monday, when I suspected I would find out about the job.
She said no it would be finished Friday evening. She had some info she wasn't telling us.
She is, actually, a pretty good agent and had been playing the competing offers against each other all afternoon. As a result the mother and son that fell in love with the place put in an over asking offer with no conditions.
My choice then was to accept the over asking offer or to decline it, risk not receiving the job offer on the following Monday and then be stuck with a much lower offer (if we got any) since we'd not likely be in a competing offer situation again.
The SU and talked about it briefly and then decided to accept the offer. What else could we do?
So we sold!! At more then asking, in 4 days, in a recession. Go figure!!!
Monday I received a job offer and started Tuesday since I wasn't working and was free to start, I did.
The new job is exactly what I've been looking for, teaching in a class for a private college, it's close to my home (the current one) and as the college is expanding, it's a good opportunity to get in early.
We decided to rent for a year or 2 and to save some money for a townhouse or bungalow. We can find a rental for less then the cost of my mortgage, maintenance fees (HOH fees) and property taxes and will be saving several hundred a month, in fact. We started looking right away (on the Saturday after signing the deal).
Found a place in an older building that we loved the location of, even though it didn't have air, didn't have en suite laundry and was a bit smaller then we're used to but it did have that location that we loved... so we offered on it. And were rejected - they won't say why we don't know why.
As a result we started looking again and at the end of this week we found a nice condo, a bit small, in a low rise condo (4 floors), a ground floor unit which means we have a patio (nice!) and very very convenient to both my work and the SU's job.
We put in a rental app and we're approved.
In the space of 2 short weeks, we sold our home, I started a new job and we've found a place to live.
Raise a glass to new beginnings.
As you may or may not have known, I've been unemployed since falling victim to the economic downturn in January. That's 6 months for those counting.
It's been hard, and money was beginning to be an issue for us. I'd spoken to my real estate agent and discussed putting the condo up for sale, a couple of times, we'd even drawn the papers up but each time I came close to signing I'd have a good job prospect and decide to put off my decision a few days.
Finally with nothing happening, or rather nothing coming of all the opportunities that I'd delayed for, I decided to list the condo. My agent advised that units in our building would usually take a while to sell. She also recommended a price about 20K less then I wanted to list at.
We decided to list but at my price not the amount she wanted to list for. It just so happened that she had an agents meeting the next morning and decided to tie that into an agents open house. During that, 3 agents brought clients to view the place. That evening we have 4 more viewings, 3 the next night and 3 the following night.
This was now Thursday evening. I would leave the unit while the viewings were happening but I did stay around the building (in the garden or the lobby) so I saw how long they stayed. 3 of the viewers had stayed over half an hour. In fact, one woman and her son waited with her agent to speak with me and ask a few questions about the condo - she was in love with the place.
So I suspected we were getting at least one offer.
Now, while this was going on I had an interview on Monday. They liked me and invited me back for a second interview on Friday. That interview (during which I had to do a small presentation) was good, as well.
I suspected I was in but I had not received an offer at this point so I couldn't be sure.
Friday afternoon I got a call from my agent, she had 2 offers and was expecting 1 or 2 others. We had one more viewing Friday evening from a "serious" buyer whom she thought would make an offer. It didn't happen.
I asked my agent if an offer comes in how long do we have to respond and is there anyway to delay until Monday, when I suspected I would find out about the job.
She said no it would be finished Friday evening. She had some info she wasn't telling us.
She is, actually, a pretty good agent and had been playing the competing offers against each other all afternoon. As a result the mother and son that fell in love with the place put in an over asking offer with no conditions.
My choice then was to accept the over asking offer or to decline it, risk not receiving the job offer on the following Monday and then be stuck with a much lower offer (if we got any) since we'd not likely be in a competing offer situation again.
The SU and talked about it briefly and then decided to accept the offer. What else could we do?
So we sold!! At more then asking, in 4 days, in a recession. Go figure!!!
Monday I received a job offer and started Tuesday since I wasn't working and was free to start, I did.
The new job is exactly what I've been looking for, teaching in a class for a private college, it's close to my home (the current one) and as the college is expanding, it's a good opportunity to get in early.
We decided to rent for a year or 2 and to save some money for a townhouse or bungalow. We can find a rental for less then the cost of my mortgage, maintenance fees (HOH fees) and property taxes and will be saving several hundred a month, in fact. We started looking right away (on the Saturday after signing the deal).
Found a place in an older building that we loved the location of, even though it didn't have air, didn't have en suite laundry and was a bit smaller then we're used to but it did have that location that we loved... so we offered on it. And were rejected - they won't say why we don't know why.
As a result we started looking again and at the end of this week we found a nice condo, a bit small, in a low rise condo (4 floors), a ground floor unit which means we have a patio (nice!) and very very convenient to both my work and the SU's job.
We put in a rental app and we're approved.
In the space of 2 short weeks, we sold our home, I started a new job and we've found a place to live.
Raise a glass to new beginnings.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Recipe Sunday
This week's recipe is a very simple loaf cake, provided for us by a good friend's grandmother -- it is Nan's Lemon Loaf.
Nan’s Lemon Loaf
Loaf:
½ Cup of Margarine
1 Cup of white sugar
2 Eggs
1 ½ cups of All Purpose flour
1 Teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup finely chopped Walnuts
½ cup milk
Topping:
1 Lemon (juiced)
¼ cup of sugar
Mix all ingredients.
Bake in greased loaf pan, lined with wax paper or 2 smaller pans at 350 degrees F for 50 minutes.
Remove from the oven and pour over juice of 1 lemon mixed with ¼ cup of sugar.
Nan’s Lemon Loaf
Loaf:
½ Cup of Margarine
1 Cup of white sugar
2 Eggs
1 ½ cups of All Purpose flour
1 Teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup finely chopped Walnuts
½ cup milk
Topping:
1 Lemon (juiced)
¼ cup of sugar
Mix all ingredients.
Bake in greased loaf pan, lined with wax paper or 2 smaller pans at 350 degrees F for 50 minutes.
Remove from the oven and pour over juice of 1 lemon mixed with ¼ cup of sugar.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Sunday recipe time
It's Sunday again. The hardest thing I have to do each Sunday is decide which recipe to share today. Should it be a side? a main? a dessert?
The SU and I eat so much rice and chicken that many of the dishes we have will sound the same or be variants on the same old same old. It's a challenge.
Today I'm offering up Mini Cheesecakes. I found this recipe, originally in an old cookbook that I have had forever and a day (but lost when we moved from the house to the condo and have not been able to replace it). It was purchased from a street vendor, the ones that come around to your office to sell books and I've never seen it in a store. I'd love to replace it though. It was, I believe, called The Encyclopedia of Cooking. I got some very good recipes out of that book but this was my favourite.
I have made only one small change in the recipe from that book. In the original recipe it calls for cottage cheese that has been allowed to drain over night (so that it is dry) but I don't bother with this, just use the cottage cheese as is.
You will need small muffin tins, and small or med (I usually use med) paper muffin liners.
I have this old set of muffin tins that were my mothers, I love them as they are straight sided, most modern mini pans have angled sides. My mothers tins are probably older then me, show their age and are not pretty but they are perfect for this recipe.
If you have a large food processor this recipe couldn't be simpler but you will wow your friends and it will become a signature dish. I started to make these cheesecakes about 20 years ago and I cannot show up to a family function or friends event without them. I make them as gifts, by request and for parties I'm not even attending.
Mini Cheesecakes
For the cheesecakes
1 8oz package of Cream Cheese
1 cup of Sour cream (250 ml container)
2 cups of Cottage cheese (500 ml container) --Optionally drain overnight
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup of sugar
For the graham crumb crust
1.5 cups of Graham crumbs
3/4 of a stick of melted butter.
Instructions
Melt the butter in a small saucepan (or in the microwave) and pour over the graham crumbs.
Line the muffin tins with the paper and press about a tsp of the graham crumb mix into the bottom of each paper cup. Don't make it to thin. A shot glass is ideal for pressing the crumbs down and firming them up.
Note: This recipe makes 48 mini cheese cakes (if you use small muffin tins - fewer if you use bigger tins). So you may have to make it in batches if you don't have enough tins. I have 16 (2 pans of 8) so I make it in 3 batches.
For the filling. This gets complicated so pay attentions.
Into the bowl of a food processor, place the cottage cheese, sour cream and cream cheese.
Turn on the mixer and allow to mix for about a minute.
Add the eggs, one at a time, while the mixer is running (through the feeder)
Add the vanilla, while the mixer is running (through the feeder)
Add the sugar, while the mixer is running (through the feeder)
Continue to run the mixer for 1 minute until the mix has a consistency of melted ice cream.
Spoon the mix into the lined cups, 2-3 tbsp per liner. In my small cups this fills each cup.
Bake in an oven preheated to 350F for 12 minutes exactly. The surface will dome up and look crusted or slightly firm but will collapse down a bit as they set.
Allow to cool for 10 minutes in the pan, remove and allow to cool completely. At this point the cupcakes can be frozen in a sealed container, if it's just you and you don't want to eat the whole batch.
Serving suggestions:
The original recipe recommended using 1 can of Blueberry pie filling and topping each cake with a tsp of the filling, chill for 2-3 hours before serving.
I've done this with Blueberry and cherry filling.
Alternately, I've taken the cupcakes plain and set up a topping bar, of prepared and sugared fruits to top the cakes at the event, just setting the toppings in dishes around the cakes with small spoons and let people add their own.
Most generally, I will serve about a 1/3 of them plain, 1/3 with blueberry and a 1/3 with the cherry. Many people seem to really prefer these just plain, and actually that is the way I prefer them.
Fat savings: Since you're already only having 1/48th of the recipe (if you stick to only 1 cake) the caloric content of each cake isn't that bad. However you can reduce that further by using low fat cottage cheese, low fat sour cream and low fat cream cheese. I've used all three at the same time and no one had commented on any flavour difference.
The texture of these cakes is lite and not heavy at all, some cheesecakes are so heavy and rich I can't eat them, but these little suckers are so light, it doesn't even feel like you're eating a cheese cake at all.
Enjoy and pass it on.
The SU and I eat so much rice and chicken that many of the dishes we have will sound the same or be variants on the same old same old. It's a challenge.
Today I'm offering up Mini Cheesecakes. I found this recipe, originally in an old cookbook that I have had forever and a day (but lost when we moved from the house to the condo and have not been able to replace it). It was purchased from a street vendor, the ones that come around to your office to sell books and I've never seen it in a store. I'd love to replace it though. It was, I believe, called The Encyclopedia of Cooking. I got some very good recipes out of that book but this was my favourite.
I have made only one small change in the recipe from that book. In the original recipe it calls for cottage cheese that has been allowed to drain over night (so that it is dry) but I don't bother with this, just use the cottage cheese as is.
You will need small muffin tins, and small or med (I usually use med) paper muffin liners.
I have this old set of muffin tins that were my mothers, I love them as they are straight sided, most modern mini pans have angled sides. My mothers tins are probably older then me, show their age and are not pretty but they are perfect for this recipe.
If you have a large food processor this recipe couldn't be simpler but you will wow your friends and it will become a signature dish. I started to make these cheesecakes about 20 years ago and I cannot show up to a family function or friends event without them. I make them as gifts, by request and for parties I'm not even attending.
Mini Cheesecakes
For the cheesecakes
1 8oz package of Cream Cheese
1 cup of Sour cream (250 ml container)
2 cups of Cottage cheese (500 ml container) --Optionally drain overnight
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup of sugar
For the graham crumb crust
1.5 cups of Graham crumbs
3/4 of a stick of melted butter.
Instructions
Melt the butter in a small saucepan (or in the microwave) and pour over the graham crumbs.
Line the muffin tins with the paper and press about a tsp of the graham crumb mix into the bottom of each paper cup. Don't make it to thin. A shot glass is ideal for pressing the crumbs down and firming them up.
Note: This recipe makes 48 mini cheese cakes (if you use small muffin tins - fewer if you use bigger tins). So you may have to make it in batches if you don't have enough tins. I have 16 (2 pans of 8) so I make it in 3 batches.
For the filling. This gets complicated so pay attentions.
Into the bowl of a food processor, place the cottage cheese, sour cream and cream cheese.
Turn on the mixer and allow to mix for about a minute.
Add the eggs, one at a time, while the mixer is running (through the feeder)
Add the vanilla, while the mixer is running (through the feeder)
Add the sugar, while the mixer is running (through the feeder)
Continue to run the mixer for 1 minute until the mix has a consistency of melted ice cream.
Spoon the mix into the lined cups, 2-3 tbsp per liner. In my small cups this fills each cup.
Bake in an oven preheated to 350F for 12 minutes exactly. The surface will dome up and look crusted or slightly firm but will collapse down a bit as they set.
Allow to cool for 10 minutes in the pan, remove and allow to cool completely. At this point the cupcakes can be frozen in a sealed container, if it's just you and you don't want to eat the whole batch.
Serving suggestions:
The original recipe recommended using 1 can of Blueberry pie filling and topping each cake with a tsp of the filling, chill for 2-3 hours before serving.
I've done this with Blueberry and cherry filling.
Alternately, I've taken the cupcakes plain and set up a topping bar, of prepared and sugared fruits to top the cakes at the event, just setting the toppings in dishes around the cakes with small spoons and let people add their own.
Most generally, I will serve about a 1/3 of them plain, 1/3 with blueberry and a 1/3 with the cherry. Many people seem to really prefer these just plain, and actually that is the way I prefer them.
Fat savings: Since you're already only having 1/48th of the recipe (if you stick to only 1 cake) the caloric content of each cake isn't that bad. However you can reduce that further by using low fat cottage cheese, low fat sour cream and low fat cream cheese. I've used all three at the same time and no one had commented on any flavour difference.
The texture of these cakes is lite and not heavy at all, some cheesecakes are so heavy and rich I can't eat them, but these little suckers are so light, it doesn't even feel like you're eating a cheese cake at all.
Enjoy and pass it on.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Job hunting blues
OK it's been 6 months of unemployment. In that time I've sent hundreds of resumes, have had only a few interviews and have blown through most of my savings.
One of the interviews I had was with a provincial government agency that is looking for trainers. I actually had 2 interviews with them. The first was with the HR manager and it seemed that he really liked me, we connected and as result I was advanced onto the second round. I was also told that they were only seeing two individuals and that I was one of the 2.
However, the hiring manager and I did not connect and so I did not get the job. I assumed it had gone to the the other person they were seeing.
A week or so after I received the results, saying thanks but no thanks, I heard from a head hunter about this great job. We talked and discovered it was the same job with that same government agency. I declined to pursue it with him, since I'd already been rejected.
That all was in late February or Early March. It's now June. I've had no less then six head hunters call (2 from the same firm) about my ability to meet the challenges of this job. I'm more then qualified. The second last headhunter tells me they deal with this particular agency regularly and that they are a pain in the ass. To quote him: "They go out of their way to find reasons to reject candidates."
That isn't what is causing my blues, well not that alone though it is part of it. I cannot seem to see what I'm doing wrong or if I'm doing anything wrong. The positions I've been applying for are well within my abilities, the people I've spoken with have all told me my resume is impressive, my qualifications solid, I'm great in interviews and always get good feedback but still nothing. I do realize the economy is in the shits and that the job market is flooded and so employers can pick and choose but still... it boggles the mind.
Last week, a friend of friend told me about a job her friend was hiring for. I have the experience, I have the ability and the desire. She asked for my resume to pass on to her friend. Great I sent it.
He reads it at her place (he happened to be there when I sent it) and tells her he's very impressed and that my resume is solid. Definitely wants to see me. Subsequently, he emails me to ask if I'm available for a phone interview with HR. I answer that I'm available at his convenience. He emails me right back to ask if I could come in on Friday for a in person interview and that HR will contact me about the phone interview, I tell him definitely I'm available. Then silence. Nada, the week goes by. I email to ask about HR no word from them. I get a phone interview invitation from another firm, scheduled for Friday, I email the first guy to say I can still meet Friday but I've booked another appointment, just so he can work his schedule around that. Nada.
Friday comes, I phone him in person - but only get voicemail. I leave him a message asking for either a contact in HR or to hear from him, I'm still interested and would like to meet with him to discuss the role.
Not a peep. So strange, he just dried up or lost interest or who knows. The friend of a friend that put us in contact is puzzled and pissed at him, she says she is going to find out what happened. I thanked her but said that she'd done her part the rest is between him and I. Still if she wants to find out what the hell happened, I'd be thankful.
So this week dons and I'm feeling blue and it just hit me all at once and on Tuesday I really began to feel depressed. I met our real estate agent on Monday to discuss selling the condo.
My phone is completely silent. The job boards are drying up, getting nowhere with cold calls, emails and resume submissions go unanswered. It all just gets to you after a while.
Then just when I'm down, I'm blue and feeling defeated I get a call. The second phone interview, the one from last Friday, well they liked me. As a follow up I had submitted a few questions to them via email. They called to answer my questions and invited me to an in person meet.
Now I don't have anything yet but an appointment but I suddenly felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. Somebody liked me. Somebody took the time to speak to me. It was exactly what I needed at that moment. The SU says I'm acting like I've got the job already and warns me not to get too excited. And while it is a good job and I would be a good fit for it, I'm not excited in that I think I'm a shoe in or anything. I realize I'll have to fight for this job, give killer interviews and do very well on the skills testing they are giving me and then kick ass in a sample training session. So it's a long haul and I could drop the ball at any of those blocks.
No, what I'm excited about is that I know that there is hope, it's not hopeless. My submissions are being seen and reviewed. I'm not just sending endless emails, faxes and letters out into the empty ether but that they are going to people and some of those people will like me enough to speak to me. And that's all I can ask, beyond that it's up to me to win the role. Whatever role that may end up being.
So, I've been blue, I'm down but I'm not out and I'll comeback stronger and meaner and fitter ready to fight for my life and the life that I want.
One of the interviews I had was with a provincial government agency that is looking for trainers. I actually had 2 interviews with them. The first was with the HR manager and it seemed that he really liked me, we connected and as result I was advanced onto the second round. I was also told that they were only seeing two individuals and that I was one of the 2.
However, the hiring manager and I did not connect and so I did not get the job. I assumed it had gone to the the other person they were seeing.
A week or so after I received the results, saying thanks but no thanks, I heard from a head hunter about this great job. We talked and discovered it was the same job with that same government agency. I declined to pursue it with him, since I'd already been rejected.
That all was in late February or Early March. It's now June. I've had no less then six head hunters call (2 from the same firm) about my ability to meet the challenges of this job. I'm more then qualified. The second last headhunter tells me they deal with this particular agency regularly and that they are a pain in the ass. To quote him: "They go out of their way to find reasons to reject candidates."
That isn't what is causing my blues, well not that alone though it is part of it. I cannot seem to see what I'm doing wrong or if I'm doing anything wrong. The positions I've been applying for are well within my abilities, the people I've spoken with have all told me my resume is impressive, my qualifications solid, I'm great in interviews and always get good feedback but still nothing. I do realize the economy is in the shits and that the job market is flooded and so employers can pick and choose but still... it boggles the mind.
Last week, a friend of friend told me about a job her friend was hiring for. I have the experience, I have the ability and the desire. She asked for my resume to pass on to her friend. Great I sent it.
He reads it at her place (he happened to be there when I sent it) and tells her he's very impressed and that my resume is solid. Definitely wants to see me. Subsequently, he emails me to ask if I'm available for a phone interview with HR. I answer that I'm available at his convenience. He emails me right back to ask if I could come in on Friday for a in person interview and that HR will contact me about the phone interview, I tell him definitely I'm available. Then silence. Nada, the week goes by. I email to ask about HR no word from them. I get a phone interview invitation from another firm, scheduled for Friday, I email the first guy to say I can still meet Friday but I've booked another appointment, just so he can work his schedule around that. Nada.
Friday comes, I phone him in person - but only get voicemail. I leave him a message asking for either a contact in HR or to hear from him, I'm still interested and would like to meet with him to discuss the role.
Not a peep. So strange, he just dried up or lost interest or who knows. The friend of a friend that put us in contact is puzzled and pissed at him, she says she is going to find out what happened. I thanked her but said that she'd done her part the rest is between him and I. Still if she wants to find out what the hell happened, I'd be thankful.
So this week dons and I'm feeling blue and it just hit me all at once and on Tuesday I really began to feel depressed. I met our real estate agent on Monday to discuss selling the condo.
My phone is completely silent. The job boards are drying up, getting nowhere with cold calls, emails and resume submissions go unanswered. It all just gets to you after a while.
Then just when I'm down, I'm blue and feeling defeated I get a call. The second phone interview, the one from last Friday, well they liked me. As a follow up I had submitted a few questions to them via email. They called to answer my questions and invited me to an in person meet.
Now I don't have anything yet but an appointment but I suddenly felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. Somebody liked me. Somebody took the time to speak to me. It was exactly what I needed at that moment. The SU says I'm acting like I've got the job already and warns me not to get too excited. And while it is a good job and I would be a good fit for it, I'm not excited in that I think I'm a shoe in or anything. I realize I'll have to fight for this job, give killer interviews and do very well on the skills testing they are giving me and then kick ass in a sample training session. So it's a long haul and I could drop the ball at any of those blocks.
No, what I'm excited about is that I know that there is hope, it's not hopeless. My submissions are being seen and reviewed. I'm not just sending endless emails, faxes and letters out into the empty ether but that they are going to people and some of those people will like me enough to speak to me. And that's all I can ask, beyond that it's up to me to win the role. Whatever role that may end up being.
So, I've been blue, I'm down but I'm not out and I'll comeback stronger and meaner and fitter ready to fight for my life and the life that I want.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Recipe Sunday errrr Monday
We had a great weekend, went camping with my sister and her husband. Not a lot of sleep and I came home smelling strongly of campfire.
Everything, including me, went right into a wash.
As a result I could not post a recipe for Sunday, so I'm posting one today.
Meatloaf
This is my mother's meat loaf. We like it, it's comfort food and it's pretty good.
1 lb of lean ground beef
1/2 cup of bread crumbs
1 egg
1 onion, diced
1 green pepper, diced
3 hard boiled eggs, shelled
1-2 drops of Sesame oil
1-2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tbsp Italian seasoning
Salt and Pepper to taste
Optionally - Add 1 tbsp of Cayenne or Chili Pepper
1 can of Campbells Tomato soup.
Mix the meat, bread crumbs, the raw egg, Sesame Oil, Garlic and herbs, the green pepper and Onions in a bowl. Optionally add in the Cayenne or Chili Pepper and Salt and Pepper to your liking.
Add half of the can of Tomato Soup into the mix. Reserve the remaining soup for later.
You will want the meat to be somewhat wet but dry enough to hold a shape when formed into a loaf. Add additional bread crumbs if it's too wet, but not too much or your loaf will be dry.
Form the meat mix into a loaf shape and place the shaped loaf into a bread pan (or rectangular baking dish).
Push the boiled eggs into the body of the loaf, until they are completely covered by the meat mix, in a strainght line so that the eggs form a line through the meat mix. Reshape the top as needed in the pan.
Take the remaining tomato soup and spread evenly across the top of the meat loaf. Sometimes my mother would wait and do this last step until the meat was almost cooked but mostly it was just added at the beginning of the cooking process.
Place the loaf pan on the centre rack of an oven that has preheated to 350F. Cook for 30-45 minutes until the meat is done.
Serve with mashed potatoes, and freshly steamed vegetables.
There is nothing like good old fashioned comfort food on a cold cold June 1st. This past weekend has been exceptionally cold for the end of May and Early June and so I've been thinking of these old comfort foods.
Enjoy.
Everything, including me, went right into a wash.
As a result I could not post a recipe for Sunday, so I'm posting one today.
Meatloaf
This is my mother's meat loaf. We like it, it's comfort food and it's pretty good.
1 lb of lean ground beef
1/2 cup of bread crumbs
1 egg
1 onion, diced
1 green pepper, diced
3 hard boiled eggs, shelled
1-2 drops of Sesame oil
1-2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tbsp Italian seasoning
Salt and Pepper to taste
Optionally - Add 1 tbsp of Cayenne or Chili Pepper
1 can of Campbells Tomato soup.
Mix the meat, bread crumbs, the raw egg, Sesame Oil, Garlic and herbs, the green pepper and Onions in a bowl. Optionally add in the Cayenne or Chili Pepper and Salt and Pepper to your liking.
Add half of the can of Tomato Soup into the mix. Reserve the remaining soup for later.
You will want the meat to be somewhat wet but dry enough to hold a shape when formed into a loaf. Add additional bread crumbs if it's too wet, but not too much or your loaf will be dry.
Form the meat mix into a loaf shape and place the shaped loaf into a bread pan (or rectangular baking dish).
Push the boiled eggs into the body of the loaf, until they are completely covered by the meat mix, in a strainght line so that the eggs form a line through the meat mix. Reshape the top as needed in the pan.
Take the remaining tomato soup and spread evenly across the top of the meat loaf. Sometimes my mother would wait and do this last step until the meat was almost cooked but mostly it was just added at the beginning of the cooking process.
Place the loaf pan on the centre rack of an oven that has preheated to 350F. Cook for 30-45 minutes until the meat is done.
Serve with mashed potatoes, and freshly steamed vegetables.
There is nothing like good old fashioned comfort food on a cold cold June 1st. This past weekend has been exceptionally cold for the end of May and Early June and so I've been thinking of these old comfort foods.
Enjoy.
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